When you’re driving a van up the Eastern Seaboard, regardless of what cargo you are carrying – a band and their gear, antiques and paintings, or the heart of a dying star, there are two Road Rules ™ that you need to follow. Stay Awake. Don’t get cornholed by the Gimp. I can’t help you…

When you’re spending long hours on the road, driving from one Southern town to the next on your month-long tour de force, you need lots and lots of chemicals to keep you from dying. In particular, La Caffeine is usually indicated for gig-induced narcolepsy, and sometimes, regular sodas like Diet Coke(tm) just don’t pack enough…