In The Kitchen with Aaron Sarlo: Twice Brandied Roofing Nail Surprise

It’s that time of the year again! Nowsünownow! It’s the perfect time to whup up a warm, cheesy batch of Twice Brandied Roofing Nail Surprise. (The surprise is a sudden gush of bloody mucus from a mouthful of roofing nails piercing your sinuses!) If excruciating oral pain isn’t your thing, you could tweak the recipe…

In The Kitchen with Aaron Sarlo: Salisbury Queef

It’s that time of the year again: Queefster! That magical time of year when Queefus Christ comes back from the dead to hand out presents to good little boys and girls, such as chocolate and bags of bloody, chopped-off hooves. This year, why not celebrate by preparing this one-of-a-kind sumptuous feast for your loved ones!…