Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, loser. This year, don’t sit at home repeatedly masturbating until you ejaculate tiny little puffs of air. It’s 2020, a whole new decade for you to fail in! Get out there and meet that special someone, and when you do, bring them back to your place, and prepare…
Tag: recipe
In The Kitchen with Aaron Sarlo: Rice Crispy Horror Squares
It’s that time of the year again, Nontember, the perfect time of year for a delicious…
In The Kitchen with Aaron Sarlo: Oyster S’mores
Put down your mustache wax, pretentious asshats. Do I have an artisanal treat for you. Oyster S’mores! This fun, jaunty recipe is easy to make, and will technically feed your entire house since nobody will eat them. YOU WILL NEED 5 36oz cans of pre-shucked oysters in brine (type of brine optional) A verbatim reprint…