It’s a full moon, so you know what that means: the moon has probably been the one taking your lunch at work. Also, horoscopes! * Aquarius: You will more than likely not die this month, Aquarius. Notice how I said “likely”. The stars only know so much, but you can count on them to guide you, nonetheless….
Category: Crazy Ron’s Discount Horoscopes
Crazy Ron’s Discount Horoscopes*
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Crazy Ron’s Discount Horoscopes
It’s a full moon, so you know what that means: you lost the gift receipt and can’t return it. Also, horoscopes! * Aquarius: Jupiter and Saturn will be in conjunction this month and the closest observable one since the year 1226. Like the 13th Century, you need to be aware of possible bad omens. Maybe Mongol hordes, or…
Crazy Ron’s Discount Horoscopes*
It’s a full Blue moon on Halloween, so you know what that means: you are already a literate werewolf. Also, horoscopes! * Aquarius: You are the most lupine of all the signs Aquarius, so you are most likely to suffer from werewolfism. Nobody knows why that is, but any month with two full moons gives you twice…
Crazy Ron’s Discount Horoscopes!
It’s the full moon, so you know what that means: Nothing, the moon is a hoax. Merely weather balloons. Also, horoscopes! * Aquarius: It’s the season of the Pumpkin Spice Aquarios and while that may sound like a long, lost Donovan tune, it is a real thing…unlike that big ole phony moon. I hope you like pumpkins…
Crazy Ron’s Discount Horoscopes
It’s the full moon, so you know what that means: slather on that moonscreen. Also, horoscopes! * Aquarius: You’ve made it this far Aquarius (if not, shouldn’t you be haunting somewhere instead of reading horoscopes?) and that’s an accomplishment. We both know you have no idea how you did. Just keep on keeping on. This month…
Crazy Ron’s Discount Horoscopes*
It’s the full moon, so you know what that means: the moon got some of that government money. Also, horoscopes! * Aquarius: Aquarius, if the song can be trusted, your age dawned it the 1960s with a bunch of stinky hippies. We have no reason to doubt pop music. Why would the 5th Dimension lie to us…
Crazy Ron’s Discount Horoscopes*
It’s the full moon, so you know what that means: the moon sees all! Also, horoscopes! * Aquarius: I’m not going to say that all of this political strife is your fault Aquarius, but there are photos of someone who looks a lot like you standing on the grassy knoll. Maybe it was your doppelganger. The…
Crazy Ron’s Discount Horoscopes*
It’s the full moon, so you know what that means: the moon made bail and is out on the streets again. Also, horoscopes!* Aquarius: Do you remember when you found out George Michael was gay? Of course, you don’t! It is besides the point. Wham! Is still Wham! Don’t get caught up in the unimportant details…
Crazy Ron’s Discount Horoscopes*
It’s the full moon, so you know what that means: the moon isn’t sick (or at least is asymptomatic) and showed up to work. Also, horoscopes!* Aquarius: Mercury is such a funny little planet. So hot on one side, yet so cold on the other. (Sort of like a McDLT). But this month it is giving…